Last night I had a dream in which I was waiting in line to get into a club when I saw Bill Pullman being attacked by a vampire. I immediately sprang to his rescue, but when I killed the vampire Mr. Pullman became my friend Ted, who was sad that I’d killed a vampire he was rather fond of.

Next thing I knew I was at an open grave where MacGyver’s (not Richard Dean Anderson’s) frozen corpse had been split in half, with the bottom half missing. As the corpse began to thaw his gore spilled out and formed new skeletal legs. Then he got up and started walking toward me and I could tell that the look he was going for was that his whole body apart from his head was a skeleton, but it just looked like a really bad prosthetic (I could see his real arms behind the skeletal ones, etc.)

So my question to you, gentle reader, is what the hell did I eat last night?

On Dreams and Dietary Mishaps by ssweeny.net is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.